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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29350653">Never Grow Up</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/outer_space_beech/pseuds/outer_space_beech'>outer_space_beech</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Family, Grief, Kid Fic, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Minor Character Death, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Raising Harry, Sirius and Remus raising Harry, Sirius doesn't go to Azkaban, Toddler Harry, Will tag more as I go, no remadora, there is no remadora, they are just friends</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:55:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,134</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29350653</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/outer_space_beech/pseuds/outer_space_beech</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius and Remus raising Harry after the events of Halloween 1981, where Sirius never went to Azkaban and they knew Peter was the traitor.</p><p>Snippets and stories from their life, spanning from Harry being a toddler to the original series time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>138</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Harry - 3 years old</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi there!</p><p>It upsets me that Sirius and Remus never got to spend time with Harry and so I'm changing that haha</p><p>I have extensive experience in looking after children and whilst I could fairly accurately write about Harry from ages 1-2 and a half, it would be kinda boring so I've decided to start just after he's turned 3 because toddlers are interesting creatures to say the least.<br/>Some of this is based off of my own younger cousins - whom are like siblings to me - and adapted to fit the wizarding world. Other stuff I've taken situations and (obviously) fit them for how Harry specifically would react.</p><p>This isn't a choesive story as much as it is many snippets and stories to get an insight into what their life is like, thus I do not know how long its going to be at this point but I will update tags/chapters as soon as I know!<br/>I hope you enjoy it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been almost two years and Harry had just turned 3 years old. Together they had healed, there would always be a scar but daily life was easy, they could talk about Lily and James without it ruining their day.</p><p>The days were easier, and happier, and it was Harry who helped with that. He as a toddler found the small joys in every day and that rubbed off on Remus and Sirius who cherished every day they got to spend with him.</p><p>Sirius spoiled Harry, and Remus would have to regularly reel him in, Remus knew Sirius was just doing his best to show Harry he was loved. </p><p>He tried to not dwell on the past too much, instead appreciating how their little house had grown warm and welcoming. Feeling his heart grow when Harry would line up his many plush animals and explain who was who to Remus. </p><p>“What’s this one called?” Remus would ask with a smile pointing at one of the toys, his book in his lap. </p><p>“Kenny” Harry answered after a moment of thought. </p><p>“Very good name, what about this one?” He asked again, pointing to a plush elephant this time. </p><p>“Kenny too!” He answered again with a big smile. </p><p>Remus couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, amused at Harry’s name choices. </p><p>“But this one is La La” he pointed at a stuffed giraffe. </p><p>“Wonderful choices Harry” there was few moments of quiet while Harry continued to putter about the lounge room “your hair gets crazier every day” Remus said quietly more to himself than to Harry. </p><p>It was mid-afternoon and the two of them were sat at the small dining table in the kitchen, both eating a tub of yoghurt. </p><p>“Rem, why haven’t you finished your yoghurt?” Harry asked, the lower half of his face covered in yoghurt. </p><p>Remus had learned very soon after Harry was put under his and Sirius’ care that being a clean freak and slight germaphobe was not an option. </p><p>“Why haven’t you finished yours hm?” Remus asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. </p><p>Harry just giggled and continued shoveling yoghurt into his mouth as if it was what he was born to do. </p><p>After their afternoon snack, Remus decided they could get some fresh air by going for a walk up the country roads. Harry loved looking at the horses and sheep and the occasional dog running around someone’s front yard. He was running ahead of Remus who didn’t mind as long as they could see each other.</p><p>Then it was as if Remus was watching it in slow motion, and it wasn’t as if Harry hadn’t hurt himself before - but his hands and chin sliding along the gravel road made even Remus wince. There was a moment of silence, Remus clutching his hands together waiting for Harry to react, thanking whoever out there that his giant puffy jacket and long pants protected the rest of him from the gravel. </p><p>Harry pushed himself up so he was sitting on the ground, he looked at his hands for a few moments. Then he looked up at Remus, and Remus saw the scratches on his chin and the tears welling up in his eyes. </p><p>“Ah..” Remus bent down and picked Harry up off the ground with a quiet groan, thinking he was getting a bit old for picking children up already. </p><p>“Where did you hurt?” He asked softly, balancing Harry on his hip. </p><p>“Here” Harry hiccupped and held his hands out palms facing up for Remus to see. </p><p>Remus had seen his fair share of injuries, and far worse than some scrapes from gravel, but seeing small spots of blood and tiny stones lining the edges of Harry’s palm tugged on his heart strings. </p><p>“Let’s head home and get you patched up, yeah?” </p><p>Harry just nodded and wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck, burying his head into Remus’ shoulder. Luckily for Remus they hadn’t walked far as his arms began to ache by the time they reached the front door. </p><p>Sirius seemed to notice Remus walking up the path to the door with Harry in his arms and opened the door for them, a mix of worry and curiosity on his face. </p><p>“Is he alright?” Sirius asked, closing the front door behind them. Remus nodded to reassure him it was nothing horrible. </p><p>Remus walked inside and sat Harry on the edge dining room table, his small face red and tear stricken and his legs dangling over the edge. Sirius softened immediately noticing the boy was upset. </p><p>“What happened Harry?” </p><p>“Went on a walk with Rem and I fell” he held his hands out to show Sirius. </p><p>“Oh Harry.. you’ll be alright, Remus will fix you up”</p><p>And so Remus got out his wand and found that tiny scrapes on tiny hands and chin were worlds easier to fix than the injuries he usually had to tend to. </p><p>There was a ghost of a smile on Harry’s lips as he watched the scrapes disappear from his hands, and Remus found it endearing how still Harry sat when he waved his wand over his chin. Tiny pebbles and small spots of blood disappearing, as if they were never there to begin with. </p><p>-</p><p>Visiting the Weasley’s for dinner is one of Harry’s favourite activities. The Weasley house was loud and always full of people, mainly Harry’s best friend Ron. </p><p>It had only taken one or two trips over to the Weasley house for Harry and Ron to make a bond, being the same age definitely helped but Remus hoped Harry wouldn’t lose that friendship.</p><p>Sirius had once told the table that Harry and Ron were destined to cause trouble, but that was right before the twins blew up the large bowl of mashed potatoes, making Percy and Ginny cry and every other child present (and Sirius) howl with laughter. </p><p>“The twins might have a legacy like ours at Hogwarts, hey Moony” Sirius said jokingly, with a hint of longing behind his eyes. </p><p>“Please Sirius, do not worry Molly and Arthur further with a thought like that” Remus laughed lightly as he and Sirius shared a quick look. </p><p>
  <em>James would have loved this. </em>
</p><p>By the time the adults had decided to call it a night it was almost pitch-black outside. Children were scattered throughout the house in various states of consciousness; Ginny was curled up and fast asleep in the corner of a couch, clearly having wanted to stay up with the rest of the kids but still a bit too small to actually keep up; the twins were sitting crossed legged in front of the fireplace, throwing stones into the dying flames to make it change colours; Bill, Charlie and Percy nowhere to be seen in the lounge room, all having taken themselves up to their beds. </p><p>Harry and Ron were sat close together in an armchair, a book with pictures of all sorts of creatures open on their tiny laps, they were looking at it with droopy eyes. Both trying to stay awake in front of the other and failing. </p><p>Sirius walked over and picked up a half-asleep Harry to carry him home. Remus and Sirius thanked the Weasley’s profusely for providing them dinner and good company and made their way out of The Burrow. </p><p>Remus had shrugged his jacket on to protect himself against the chill, he then draped Sirius’ jacket over Harry’s body to protect him. Sirius shifted his arms carefully so that he was holding a covered up Harry right against his chest. </p><p>They walked down the road for a few minutes before deciding it was a good time and spot to apparate, giving each other a look of pain knowing the movement would wake Harry up - but unless they wanted to ride a broom home there was no other choice. </p><p>Sirius was still holding tight onto Harry even after they had landed - Harry had let out a couple of groans of annoyance and an “I don’t like that Siri” before falling asleep again as they walked through the house. </p><p>“Do you want to put him down and I’ll close up?” Remus asked as Sirius was about to enter Harry’s room. </p><p>Sirius nodded and went to go change Harry’s clothes and tuck him in, whilst Remus checked the protective charms, locked the front door, and closed the blinds on the windows. </p><p>Remus and Sirius finally got to climb into their bed, and wrapped their arms around each other, always finding comfort within one another. Sitting in a comfortable silence, not having to say anything.</p><p>“Moony?” Sirius whispered through the darkness. </p><p>Remus hummed in response. </p><p>“Imagine if we had seven” </p><p>Remus couldn’t help but snort. </p><p>“If we had seven I think I’d die from exhaustion, I don’t know how Molly and Arthur do it” he responded lightly. </p><p>“But <em>Moooooony</em> we could have a quidditch team if we had seven” Sirius whined jokingly, Remus could feel his body shaking lightly with laughter. </p><p>“We are <em>not </em>inheriting six more children simply so you can have a quidditch team, you’ll have to settle for waiting until Harry gets to Hogwarts” </p><p>“<em>Fiiiine, </em>you’re so mean to me” Sirius slapped Remus lightly on the arm. </p><p>“Only when you deserve it” </p><p>Remus pulled Sirius closer, and held on as tight as he could until sleep overtook his body. His thoughts drifting off to Harry one day playing quidditch at the school he himself had once called home. </p><p>-</p><p>“Harry can you please clean up the table so we can have dinner” Sirius asked from his spot in front of the pot of pasta sauce he was stirring.</p><p>“No” Harry said defiantly, arms folded in front of him, not moving from his seat at the dining table.</p><p>“Excuse me” Sirius had stopped stirring the sauce, shocked at Harry’s reaction.</p><p>“I don’t want to clean up, I’m playing” His arms were still crossed and there was annoyance all over his face. Sirius couldn’t quite believe their little Harry was talking back.</p><p>Harry was looking directly at Sirius, wondering how much he could get away with – Sirius <em>was </em>always good cop. It wasn’t that Sirius didn’t have the heart to punish Harry for being rude, Lily wouldn’t have stood for that type of behaviour either, he just wasn’t sure how effective it would be coming from the regular “good cop”.</p><p>“Harry Potter, you will clean up the dining table before dinner <em>and</em> before Remus gets home or I’ll put you in the corner” Sirius said sternly, raising his voice slightly but not enough to be yelling. His face stony to portray how serious he was about his threat.</p><p>Harry seemed to think for a moment before taking his toys off of the dining table and into the lounge room quietly. Sirius let out a breath and turned back to the pasta sauce, thankful the situation didn’t escalate.</p><p>Remus arrived home with groceries and by the time they were all unpacked dinner was ready, the three of them sat down to their nightly “family” dinner. Remus filling Sirius in on any news he heard while at the grocery store, and Sirius recounting his time with Harry. Harry then told Remus and Sirius about some sort of made-up story which they both listened very intently to, despite not knowing anything that was happening in this story.</p><p>It may not be “normal” to other families, but this was their family.</p><p>-</p><p>“I found a spider Rem!” Harry yelled from a corner of the garden, he was squatted down looking at the garden beds for bugs and insects.</p><p>“That’s great! Just don’t touch it, okay!” Remus called back from his seat near the back door of the house.</p><p>“Why not!”</p><p>“It might bite you!”</p><p>“Okay!”</p><p>Remus returned his attention to his book, and thanked Merlin that he had actually listened to him and not touch the spider. Harry did however get covered in mud and grass digging up worms to show Sirius, he asked if Padfoot would eat them.</p><p>Sirius politely said no and <em>almost</em> changed his mind at Harry’s disappointment.</p><p>-</p><p>“Little shit” Sirius muttered before calling out “Harry get back here!”</p><p>All could be heard through the house was Harry’s maniacal giggles, Sirius’ pleas for him to get back in the bath, and Remus muttering scourgify on the trail of water and bubbles Harry left behind him.</p><p>Remus was also for once feeling lucky that he wasn’t physically up for chasing around a slippery three year old, so he got to stand back and watch Sirius wrestle Harry back into the bath, Sirius’s shirt and pants becoming soaked in the process.</p><p>Once back in the bath Sirius lathered up Harry’s hair, styling it into a bubbly mohawk which made Harry giggle. All Sirius ever wanted to do was make sure Harry was happy.</p><p>Finally, Harry had finished his bath, and was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.</p><p>“Ya know, I think chasing him around in the middle of bath time tired him out a bit” Remus said with a smile, watching a sleeping Harry curled up in his bed.</p><p>“Easy for you to say, you weren’t the one chasing him” Sirius nudged Remus with his elbow “he’ll make a good seeker”</p><p>“<em>or</em> he’ll be good at whatever position he wants to play, which may be no position at all” Remus added while he and Sirius got ready for bed.</p><p>“I just know he’ll want to play, he is James’ son after all”</p><p>“A much as it pains me to admit, you might be right on that one” Remus let out a light laugh.</p><p>After a few moments of quiet, Sirius spoke up.</p><p>“I think Harry might be the cutest kid to ever exist” He said with no hesitation or question.</p><p>“Once again, Padfoot, you just might be right”</p><p>-</p><p>A tiny knock and the sound of their bedroom door opening startled Remus awake, thus waking Sirius up also. When Remus looked over, he saw a tiny figure standing in the doorway, clutching a plush owl.</p><p>“Rem, Siri… I had a bad dream” His voice was quiet and scared.</p><p>Remus knew it must’ve been a particularly bad one as Harry had only ever come into their room once or twice before.</p><p>“Come on up” Sirius said in a croaky, half-asleep voice.</p><p>Harry walked in and climbed up onto the bed, snuggling into Sirius chest under the blankets.</p><p>“Do you want to tell us what happened?” Sirius whispered into the mess that was Harry’s hair.</p><p>“Very bad man, you and Rem gone” He shook his head, as if trying to shake the bad dream away.</p><p>“Its okay, Harry, Sirius and I will always be here” Remus moved closer, wrapping an arm around both Harry and Sirius.</p><p>Remus knew it was a promise he could only keep for so long, and he only had so much say in it, but Harry needed all Remus could give. He had already been through every child’s worst nightmare, and now his little brain was making him relive it.</p><p>Remus’ heart ached for Harry, and he knew Sirius felt the same when he saw a tear fall onto Sirius’ pillow.</p><p>-</p><p>It was another night they had planned to go over to the Weasleys for dinner, and once they arrived Remus almost regret it upon seeing the mayhem. Of course, The Burrow was always mayhem, but seeing Molly chasing the children around with a pair of scissors really raised the bar.</p><p>“Molly! What are you doing!” Sirius yelled over the top of the screaming children.</p><p>She stopped suddenly and looked over at them, a tired smile spreading on her face. Remus let go of Harry’s hand so he could go play with Ron.</p><p>“It is meant to be haircut day, except that Bill refuses and Fred and George keep running away from me so its hasn’t quite been as easy as hoped”</p><p>Remus chuckled and looked over at Harry and Ron playing on the floor together, chatting away about something or other. Harry’s hair now looked a complete mess compared to Ron’s. Molly seemed to have noticed Remus pondering this.</p><p>“Would you like me to give Harry’s a trim too?” She asked in a more calm and soft voice, having calmed down from the twins rampage.</p><p>Remus looked at Sirius, giving him a look that was letting Sirius answer, he <em>was</em> Harry’s godfather after all. Sirius contemplated it for a few moments.</p><p>“Sure, see if you can tame that mop a little” He responded with a laugh.</p><p>That is how Harry found himself sat in a chair in the Weasley’s kitchen with Sirius standing in front of him distracting him with coloured sparks created by his wand. Harry was giggling and would occasionally try to reach out and touch the sparks before being gently coaxed back by Sirius and Molly.</p><p>After ten minutes his haircut was all done, it was a visible difference but not enough that it didn’t suit Harry anymore. With haircuts out of the way the adults let the children run wild for an hour outside whilst they all helped prepare dinner, Arthur returning home from work just before it was all ready.</p><p>And then the tiny Weasley kitchen was full of the noise of chattering people and the sounds of knives and forks on plates. There was no rush, and everyone savoured the food and good company, Remus and Sirius most of all, they didn’t see many other people otherwise. Keeping Harry away from the wizarding world was difficult, but necessary.</p><p>The older members at the table had finished their food whilst the younger ones had taken to playing around with the rest of the food on their plates. Remus out of the corner of his eye saw Harry throw a pea across the table, and even though they were with company he had to say something.</p><p>“Harry, do not throw your food” He said in a stern voice, after two years the stern voice alone usually worked well enough to stop him doing anything minor.</p><p>But in his mild scolding of Harry, looking at him properly for the first time in a few hours, something seemed off about the way he looked, he nudged Sirius who was mid-conversation with Bill about school.</p><p>“Does Harry look different?” Remus asked in a low voice, not wanting the whole Weasley family in on what might just be Remus imagining things.</p><p>They both looked carefully over at their boy, analysing his appearance. Everything was the same, the lightning scar that broke off into jagged lines along his face, the beautiful green eyes he inherited from his mother. It was that train of thought that helped realisation hit Remus.</p><p>“Sirius, Sirius, its his hair” Remus continued nudging Sirius.</p><p>“What do yo- oh merlin…” Sirius’ eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open, mirroring Remus’ expression.</p><p>Remus for some reason started laughing, he mostly wasn’t sure how else to react, but felt a bit better when Sirius joined in the weird laughing session.</p><p>“He grew his fucking hair back, Moony, I can’t believe it, I mean of course he’s a wizard but he <em>grew his hair back</em>” Sirius had put a hand on Remus’ arm, which was shaking from their weird laugher.</p><p>“He’s a fucking wizard!”</p><p>Fred and George looked up at Remus and then at each other with less than subtle mischievous smiles, Remus did not envy Molly or Arthur having to deal with the fallout of his outburst.</p><p>“Harry? ‘course he is!” Arthur emphasised swaying his bottle of butterbeer around.</p><p>“He hasn’t shown signs of magic before, this is the first time, and… his hair” Remus explained.</p><p>“Well congratulations then” Molly said with her own proud smile.</p><p>Remus and Sirius took Harry home the same way they do every time they have dinner at the Weasleys – asleep in Sirius’ arms. They went through their usual night time movements before climbing into bed.</p><p>“I can’t believe it Moony, I’m speechless” Sirius said quietly into the darkness.</p><p>“Me neither”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Prongs what the FUCK have you done!” Sirius shouted loud enough the whole of Gryffindor probably heard him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I thought maybe a new haircut would impress Evans” James proclaimed proudly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We’ve been at Hogwarts five years and you think a new haircut will impress her, you look like a git and its all uneven in the back” Remus said dryly, pointing his hand to the back of James’ head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh Merlin, is it really?” James rushed to the mirror in the bathroom again in a worry, trying to look at the back of his head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Of course it is, you cut it yourself, what did you expect?” Peter added from his spot on his bed, simply laughing at the chaos.</em>
</p><p><em>“Great, its going to take </em>forever <em>to grow back!” James threw his arms up and collapsed onto his bed “let me lie here until my hair is back to normal again”</em></p><p>
  <em>And so the other three boys who were laughing at his misfortune left him to wallow in his mistake until the next morning.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Come on James, you still have to go to class even if you look like a ponce”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>James sat up, rubbed his hands over his face and put his glasses on, mentally preparing himself for the teasing all day. He began shuffling through his trunk when someone broke the silence of the dorm.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What the fuck” Sirius had said, looking at James, dumbfounded.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What?” James asked, confused.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sirius started lightly hitting Remus in the arm, who was bent over his book bag, to get his attention. Remus finally straightened up and turned around to face James.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How in the-?” Remus wore a similar dumbfounded look to Sirius’.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What’s wrong with my face?!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>James then made a mad dash to the bathroom to see what else could be going wrong with his appearance only to find the complete opposite. His hair was perfectly in tact as if it had never seen the scissors he butchered with yesterday.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Fucking hell!” He exclaimed with a relieved smile on his face, rushing back out to the dorm room “suck on that losers! No more shitty hair for me!”</em>
</p><p><em>“Well, it’ll never be </em>my<em> hair” Sirius quipped while flicking a section of his long dark hair over his shoulder dramatically.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Firstly! Around this time Percy would've been like 7 years old and you absolutely cannot tell me Percy wouldn't be a 7 year old who puts himself to bed, because he definitely would.</p><p>Secondly! Time out is my preferred method of disclipine, and if a child is well behaved enough (like Harry would be in my mind) they'll respond to a stern voice. Kids try to test your limits and boundaries and whilst I think Sirius would have some difficulty disciplining Harry due to him being his godson, I think over time he'd learn that ultimately its to teach Harry right and wrong.</p><p>Thirdly! Harry growing his hair back as one of his first signs of magic is canon in the books - in the books he did it overnight but Petunia had practically shaved his head, I figured he would unknowingly grow back a minor trim over a couple of hours. I also thought it would be incredibly cute for James to have done a similar thing, making Harry's first bit of magic even more significant and special.</p><p>Fourth! I hope you enjoyed and please don't forget to leave comments no matter how long or short, comments fuel me and my keyboard!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Harry - 4 Years Old</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Harry is now four years old!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry this one is a bit shorter than the last chapter but I'm going to start working on the next chapter immediately so you're not too starved for content.</p><p>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Can’t believe you’re four now! So grown up!” Sirius exclaimed as the three of them sat around the dining table a few days after Harry’s birthday.</p><p>Harry laughed and rolled his eyes by rolling his whole head around dramatically.</p><p>“You say that all the time, Siri” He giggled.</p><p>“It’s true!” Sirius joined in the laughing.</p><p>“If anyone at this table <em>hasn’t</em> grown up its definitely you Sirius” Remus was laughing too, his comment causing Harry to laugh more.</p><p>“Siri is a baby!” Harry pointed his fork at Sirius, who wore a very dramatic and very fake pout.</p><p>“Now this is just mean, you two ganging up on me”</p><p>“You still love us” Remus added once his giggles had died down.</p><p>Sirius rolled his eyes, but his smile gave him away.</p><p>-</p><p>Harry got to blow out candles at the Weasley’s too, this time letting Ron help him. They had their usual chaotic and friendly dinner, where the children tired themselves out and Sirius and Remus got to have adult conversation with other adults for once.</p><p>Remus was in the middle of a conversation when he felt something tugging at the sleeve of his jumper, he finished what he was saying to Arthur before looking and seeing Ron and Harry looking up at him with big puppy dog eyes. Remus could already tell where this conversation was going.</p><p>“Yes, Harry?”</p><p>Harry wrung his hands together in front of him, looking up at Remus with all the sweetness he could muster.</p><p>“Can I sleepover?” There was a moment of silence before Harry quickly added “please!”</p><p>Remus considered it, the full moon was next week and Harry would be staying the night then, he didn’t want to burden the Weasley’s more than they already have to.</p><p>“You can stay on Monday night if you go ask Mrs Weasley nicely and only if she says yes”</p><p>“But Monday is so long away, Rem” Harry slumped his shoulders.</p><p>“Its only four nights, Harry, it’ll go by quickly I promise. But first, ask Mrs Weasley please”</p><p>Remus kept a smile plastered on his face, trying not to dread how quickly four nights would go by and how he would once again be terrified of hurting Harry even though they would be safely apart. He would once again be in immense pain that he seemed to almost forget by the end of the month, again be scared of hurting Sirius. Remus had been scared of hurting Sirius since they found out about him, and then even more so after the first night in the shack together. Sometimes he would think it was a good thing, he had people he was afraid of hurting, it meant he had people he loved and who loved him back. Other times his brain would tell him that it meant he didn’t deserve any of these peoples love, if he was so scared of hurting them then why did he keep them around.</p><p>For the mean time Harry could think that Remus had conjured up a random day for a sleepover and the boys were simply lucky Molly had said yes as well. For the meantime Harry would be safe, far away, playing with Ron.</p><p>He felt the tugging on his sweater sleeve again.</p><p>“What did Mrs Weasley say? She doesn’t want to have another little troublemaker in the house?” He teased Harry, ruffling his hair up. Harry giggled and tried to swat Remus’ hand away.</p><p>“She said yes, Rem!”</p><p>“Wonderful, Sirius and I get to send you away and have a break” Remus kept ruffling Harry’s hair who kept laughing and swatting Remus’ hand away.</p><p>
  <em>I wish we didn’t have to send you off.</em>
</p><p>-</p><p>“Remus, Remus, Remus, Remus!” Sirius burst through the front door.</p><p>“Ssshhh!”</p><p>“Wha-oh… wait he hasn’t had a nap in 8 months, is he sick?” Sirius asked, dropping some bags by the front door and sitting on the couch next to Remus who had also indulged in a day time nap.</p><p>“No, he ran around the garden for about 3 hours non-stop – and I’m not being dramatic – came inside and had lunch, then passed out when he fell over making the hippogriff fly” Remus rubbed his eyes simply thinking about all the energy bottled up inside the toddler.</p><p>“And what’s your excuse for the nap?” Sirius asked raising an eyebrow and smirking at Remus.</p><p>“Fuck off” Remus elbowed Sirius lightly but then began to lean into him, Sirius putting an arm around Remus’ shoulders “I’m the one who had to watch him, that’s why”</p><p>“Ah yes, that makes sense, <em>watching</em> him run is exhausting”</p><p>“You’re mean, Padfoot” Remus said with a lopsided smile, beginning to drift back off to sleep again.</p><p>“Only when you deserve it, Moony”</p><p>Sirius shifted so they were lying down on the couch, Remus’ head on his chest. The last thing Remus registered before completely drifting off was Sirius stroking his hair soothingly.</p><p>-</p><p>Sirius had gone out for the day, most likely to the shops (again) to find something for Harry (again), the boy was spoiled rotten. Sometimes Remus and Harry would join him, but today Remus wasn’t up for a long walk so Sirius chose to go on his own and surprise both of them.</p><p>While Sirius was out Remus sat on the couch in the lounge room, letting Harry play as he pleased. Growing up an “only child” meant he learned how to occupy himself easily, which Remus was thankful for on the days he was low on energy.</p><p>Today Harry had decided to occupy himself buy singing songs in gibberish whilst playing around with his toys. Remus didn’t need background music once Harry got started up, although it was distracting when Harry’s songs caused Remus to laugh.</p><p>“mmmah bepepepdaaah dabread bapapa”</p><p>Remus raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Are you hungry Harry?” Harry gasped in response.</p><p>“Its lunchtime already! Can I have toast please, with honey”</p><p>“Of course you can buddy” Remus laughed lightly and got up to make them both some lunch.</p><p>-</p><p>“Good job, down you hop”</p><p>Harry jumped off the step stool they had placed in front of the bathroom sink, he made one step towards the door before stopping.</p><p>“I wanna brush my hair, I’m gonna brush my hair”</p><p>“Why- oh okay then”</p><p>Harry had snatched Sirius’ hairbrush off the bathroom counter and began haphazardly running it through his hair, seemingly with no plan at all which caused his hair to stick up more than it already did.</p><p>All Remus could do was shake his head, amused at Harry so blatantly copying Sirius. When Harry had finished it looked as if he had been electrocuted, Sirius would get a kick out of it Remus thought.</p><p>And Remus was right.</p><p>The first thing Sirius did when he saw Harry was laugh, and not a light chuckle, a full on belly laugh.</p><p>“You look crazy!”</p><p>“No <em>you </em>look crazy!” Harry said back, a mischievous smile on his face.</p><p>-</p><p>“Harry, you have to go to bed, this is your final warning” Remus hadn’t completely raised his voice yet, but he was on the verge of it.</p><p>“Why? You and Siri get to stay up, I wanna stay up too! I’m bigger now” He crossed his arms and looked up at Remus with a face like thunder.</p><p>“Sirius and I are going to bed too” His patience was wearing thin and he was praying Sirius got out of the shower soon so he had some backup.</p><p>“I <em>said </em>I don’t WANT TO!” Harry stamped his foot with everything he had in him and at the same moment the lightbulb lighting the hallway broke, plunging them into darkness.</p><p>It seemed that for a few moments the both of them had forgotten the argument, Harry shocked and probably scared at the sudden darkness and Remus surprised Harry had that power in him. It was at that moment Sirius emerged from the bathroom, the light from the bathroom lighting up the dark hallway where Remus and Harry were still standing, shocked.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“I’ll tell you later” Remus said quietly to just Sirius “Harry, go to bed now” His voice was once again stern.</p><p>“Can I have a story?” Harry asked quietly, calmed down from his outburst now.</p><p>“Yes you can” Remus sighed and went to read Harry his story, Harry falling asleep halfway through it.</p><p>-</p><p>Nothing is sacred with a four year old around; food that you want to keep for yourself, they <em>must </em>have a bite; trying to read peacefully, they <em>must </em>read over your shoulder and ask what’s happening; even going to the toilet was no longer a sacred affair once a child learns how to open doors.</p><p>Naps were included in this theory, and unfortunately Remus loved a good afternoon nap. Often he needed an afternoon nap for a few days after the full moon. It had been a few weeks since the moon but today was simply a rest day and a nap was well needed.</p><p>He put his legs up on the couch and reclined himself down, head leaning against the arm rest, revelling in the moments of quiet from Harry and Sirius being outside. He loved them both, but sometimes some peace and quiet was needed.</p><p>It wasn’t long until Remus had drifted off, quiet laughing and chatting coming from just outside.</p><p> </p><p>He was woken by the sound of the back door closing, it wasn’t slammed shut by an angry adult, more so closed by a toddler with too much energy who cannot judge how much force to use when closing a door.</p><p>Then as Remus was coming to, listening to the sounds of the boys taking their coats and shoes off he heard footsteps coming towards him. It was then he was jolted awake by a heavy weight landing right on his abdomen.</p><p>“Reeeemm are you awake”</p><p>Then there was little hands grabbing at his face, prying his eyes open. Remus saw Harry’s face, all red cheeks behind his jagged scars and big smile.</p><p>“Nah, I’m not awake”</p><p>Remus then wrapped his arms around Harry, squeezing as tight as he could so that Harry was like a teddy bear, and pretended to go back to sleep. Harry then started laughing and wriggling his whole body to break free from Remus.</p><p>Sirius stood back laughing for a few moments before deciding to join in on the fun and climbed on top of both of them, causing Remus to groan between his own laughter. Harry squealing and wriggling further.</p><p>“Its stacks on Moony!”</p><p>“Oh Godric no, I’m fragile Padfoot, I’m a delicate flower”</p><p>“You’re the least delicate flower I know”</p><p>The three of them were laughing, at risk of falling off the edge of the couch if Harry didn’t stop his escape efforts. Sure, a nap can’t last forever, but Remus had decided he isn’t too mad about that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Harry - 5 Years Old</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So sorry for the delay between posts, I lost a little bit of motivation for this one but I'm back and I'll probably have another chapter uploaded later today!<br/>This one is a bit shorter but like I said today will be a douple upload day so I hope that makes up for it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It took a few months for Harry to get settled into school, he wouldn’t say too much except that the kids looked at his face funny. It concerned Remus and Sirius, they considered talking to his teacher to figure out the problem. Harry never cried or got upset about it, he was just very quiet – unlike himself.</p><p>Sirius was getting ready to march down to the school until Harry came home with a big smile on his face, announcing he had made a friend. Sirius and Remus were relieved, especially Remus, he was worried Sirius would go down to the school with wand in hand.</p><p>“So, you said you’ve made a friend, Harry – what’s their name?” Remus asked over dinner.</p><p>Harry lit up at the opportunity to get to talk about his friend.</p><p>“His name is Neville and he’s very nice, he let me borrow some of his pencils today and I helped him with his counting” Harry said before shoving a heaping spoon of mashed potatoes into his mouth.</p><p>“That’s wonderful to hear, Harry”</p><p>-</p><p>“What happened at school today, Harry?” Remus asked gently.</p><p>Harry was a bit quiet on his way home from school today and had kept to himself for the evening. For the most part he was a very well behaved child, he hadn’t caused Remus and Sirius much trouble at all – whenever they visited the Weasley’s the two of them were always grateful they only had one – but tonight it seemed Harry wasn’t even testing the waters on what he could get away with.</p><p>“Um… Rem…” Harry was sat cross legged on the carpet in the lounge room, he was twisting his hands in his lap.</p><p>“What is it, Harry” Remus sat down on the floor across from him, mentally preparing himself for whatever the kid might throw at him next.</p><p>“I got in trouble today…”</p><p>Remus almost sighed in relief, having the worst possible scenarios already flown through his head.</p><p>“Ah I see, what happened?”</p><p>“In art Neville and I were painting when Daniel stole Neville’s paint brush, Nev got upset and so I went to get the brush back from Daniel and he wouldn’t give it back and I got angry at him and one of the small paint buckets exploded” Harry waved his arms in the air to mime an explosion “The teacher thought I threw paint at Daniel, but I didn’t, I promise! I didn’t touch it!”</p><p>He looked at Remus with big eyes, his face almost scared, perhaps wondering if Remus was going to punish him too.</p><p>“I see” Remus sighed “You know how Sirius and I have the sticks we carry with us” Harry nodded “it’s because we can do magic, the Weasley’s are the same, and there’s many other wizards out there. You’ve seen us do magic plenty of times. Your mum and dad could do magic too, in fact, your mum was one of the best I’ve ever seen”</p><p>Harry smiled, not realising yet that he was feeling pride at being the son of one of the best witches Remus got to know over his time at Hogwarts. It also seemed Harry had inherited James’ want to protect those who needed it, to stand up for the people who perhaps weren’t brave enough yet to stand up for themselves – a loyal friend.</p><p>“Because your mum and dad were magic, you are too. You used your magic today to make the paint explode, it was an accident and I’m not mad at you. I’m proud of you for standing up for Neville”</p><p>His smile grew and he looked relieved at not being in trouble. Remus couldn’t be mad at him, Harry just didn’t know how to control his magic yet.</p><p>“Can I tell Nev that I’m magic?”</p><p>“Sorry buddy but not yet, one day though, I promise”</p><p>“Okay! Can I have a chocolate frog?”</p><p>Remus laughed and began getting up from the floor.</p><p>“I don’t see why not”</p><p>Harry cheered and jumped up, making a beeline for the kitchen knowing exactly where the treats were.</p><p>“I’m magic Siri!”</p><p>“Indeed you are” Sirius ruffled Harry’s hair.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you again for reading!</p><p>Next chapter might be a bit of a time jump, you'll simply have to wait and find out mwahaha</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Happy Birthday Harry!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here was the previously promised time jump and longer chapter, I hope you guys enjoy this one!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Perhaps the most important birthday of Harry’s life – next to his seventeenth – was tomorrow, he would be turning 11 and no doubt receiving his letter. Ever since Sirius had told him about the letter Harry had asked every year if he would be getting it, and after a couple of birthdays Remus and Sirius realised no gift they got him would fulfill his desperation to get his Hogwarts letter.</p><p>“What if he doesn’t get one, Moony?” Sirius asked late at night though the darkness of their bedroom.</p><p>“He’ll get one, Padfoot” They were both quiet for a few moments “there are few things I am certain of in this world, one of them is that Harry is a wizard. The other is that nothing will ever make you cut your hair”</p><p>Remus chuckled and began stroking Sirius’ hair to calm him down.</p><p>“How are you always right? Its annoying”</p><p>“I spend too much time with you”</p><p>“Not possible, Moony”</p><p>-</p><p>“Happy birthday Harry!” Remus and Sirius said at the same time, presenting him with his pancakes and gift.</p><p>“Thank you, best birthday ever already” Harry said as he tucked into his pancakes and Remus and Sirius joined him at the table.</p><p>“You said that last year” Remus responded with a laugh.</p><p>“Its true this year too, every birthday is great”</p><p>They discussed their plans for the day; they would go to the Weasley’s to celebrate, Harry would definitely want to tell Ron about getting his letter before telling anyone else (other than Remus and Sirius).</p><p>In the middle of their discussion there was a knock at one of the kitchen windows, the three of them looked over to see a large owl sitting on the window sill, waiting to be let in. Remus was the one who got up and opened the window for it, the owl swooped in, dropped a letter on the kitchen table and swooped back out the window again.</p><p>“Remus, Sirius, is this it?” Harry asked while staring at the letter that had landed right in front of his plate.</p><p>“That’s it Harry, go on, open it up” Sirius said, putting down his fork and bringing his full attention to the moment.</p><p>He opened the letter slowly and carefully, taking his time to read every word on the first piece of parchment. He looked speechless, Remus took a moment to look over at Sirius who was leaning back in his chair, a hand over his mouth looking like he was about to burst into tears with hoy and pride. Remus can’t say he wasn’t far behind.</p><p>Harry looked up from the letter, his eyes going back between Remus and Sirius.</p><p>“I’M A WIZARD!” He threw his arms up in the air.</p><p>“YOU’RE A WIZARD!” Sirius cheered as well, leaping up to wrap Harry in a tight hug.</p><p>Remus also leapt up, joining in the group hug. He suddenly thought about what Harry was going into when entering the wizarding world, everyone he meets knowing his name and story. They hadn’t told Harry everything yet, no one he knew treated him the way strangers would once he arrived at Hogwarts. Remus and Sirius were going to have to tell Harry that he was famous, a border line celebrity, that he defeated the darkest wizard ever known when he was a baby.</p><p>That’s an issue for tomorrow, Remus told himself, right now we can celebrate, right now is one of the happiest moments of his life.</p><p>-</p><p>“RON, I GOT MY LETTER!” Was the first thing Harry said after bursting through the door of The Burrow.</p><p>“YES HARRY!” Ron cheered from the lounge room before running and tackling Harry in a hug.</p><p>“Harry at least say hello to Mr and Mrs Weasley before yelling in their house” Remus sighed, it was too late but he could at least try.</p><p>“Sorry Remus, will go do that now”</p><p> </p><p>All the Weasley’s congratulated Harry on receiving his letter, it became an evening full of music and laughter. Remus did his best to remember every moment, not wanting to forget a single minute of the day Harry would remember for the rest of his life. He remembered getting his letter as if it was only yesterday, and he’s sure everyone else in the house could say the same.</p><p>They sang Happy Birthday so loud that Remus wouldn’t have been surprised if the Hogwarts castle itself heard their happiness.</p><p>The three of them apparated home, Remus having to take lead after Sirius had a few butter beers getting lost in celebration.</p><p>“This really was the best birthday ever” Harry had said once they landed, stumbling on his feet slightly.</p><p>-</p><p>Harry’s first ever trip to Diagon Alley was – as he put it – one of the best days ever. Remus and Sirius did their best to stay under the radar, trying to keep Harry as low-profile as possible, maintain his normalcy for as long as possible.</p><p>Between the money James and Lily had left for Harry and Sirius’ inheritance they didn’t have to worry about missing anything on his list of school supplies. But Harry still made sure to spend wisely, something Remus had taught him.</p><p>At Diagon Alley they ran into Hagrid, it was a trip down memory lane for Remus and Sirius – the half-giant was more than happy to finally meet James and Lily’s son, treating him the same as the Weasley’s did, not letting Harry’s past and fame define him.</p><p>Harry had told Hagrid it was his birthday two days ago and he had received his letter, he was still on a high from getting proper confirmation that he was a wizard. Hagrid seemed almost disappointed that he hadn’t realised sooner, telling the three of them to continue their shopping and he’d return soon.</p><p>“Oh Hagrid you didn’t have to-“ Remus began.</p><p>“’course I did! Anythin’ for James and Lily’s boy” Hagrid said cheerfully while handing Harry a cage with a snowy white owl inside.</p><p>“Thank you so much Hagrid, I’ll think of a name and tell you when I get to Hogwarts” Harry said whilst admiring his new pet.</p><p>“You better! See you in September Harry. Remus, Sirius” Hagrid nodded his head towards Remus and Sirius as they waved goodbye.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you once again for reading!</p><p>Hagrid is one of my faves, just so wholesome - let me know if there's any characters specifically you wanna see once Harry is at Hogwarts!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Year One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Another chapter already! AND its a fairly decent one (especially compared to the last two)</p><p>I hope yall enjoy &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The three of them arrived at Kings Cross Station with arms of Harry’s luggage. Sirius was dragging along the large trunk, Harry was holding Hedwig in her cage (he had grown a deep attachment to the lovely owl), and Remus was carrying Harry’s backpack and some books.</p><p>Remus thanked the stars when they were able to acquire a cart. Harry and Sirius pushed the cart through the station together, eyes bright and smiles wide, as Remus trailed closely behind. He was reminiscing on his own first time arriving at Kings Cross, the anticipation of finally having somewhere to call home.</p><p>They reached the wall between platforms 9 and 10, Sirius had told Harry what to do so they were prepared. Remus stood back and let them have their moment, remembering Sirius and James running through the wall together for a final time at the beginning of their 7<sup>th</sup> year.</p><p>“You two go first, I’ll keep an eye out” Remus said to them as they got close.</p><p>“You sure, Moony?” Sirius asked, stopping the cart and turning around.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll be right behind you”</p><p>Remus looked around at all the people, determining that the coast was clear and nodded at Sirius to go. Sirius turned back around, one hand firmly on the cart and the other on Harry’s back, both of Harry’s hands gripping the cart like his life depended on it.</p><p>They ran as fast as they could together at the wall and were gone, Remus then walked quickly at the wall, feeling a weird sensation throughout his body before coming out on the other side. He was immediately greeted with the scarlet train he’d grown all too familiar with and the noise of parents saying goodbye to their children.</p><p>“Have you got everything, Harry?” Remus asked.</p><p>“Yes, Remus” Harry rolled his eyes from behind his round glasses that looked just like his fathers.</p><p>Sirius found it difficult to look at Harry for a few days after he got the glasses, he was even more James.</p><p>“He’ll be fine Moony” Sirius also rolled his eyes affectionately “You’ll be fine won’t you Harry”</p><p>Harry nodded his head at Remus reassuringly, a smile going from ear to ear plastered on his face. They were quiet as Sirius began unloading the cart so Harry could take his things onto the train, Remus noticed Harry beginning to look nervous and pulled him to the side.</p><p>“You alright?”</p><p>“Yeah… just nervous”</p><p>“You’ve nothing to be nervous about, Hogwarts is one of the best places ever, trust me. And no matter what, Sirius and I will be proud of you. Just don’t cause as much trouble as we did, I don’t think Professor McGonagall will be able to handle more than what Sirius and I put her through”</p><p>Remus laughed and so did Harry, looking to be feeling better about going off to Hogwarts.</p><p>“Harry, you’ll be fine and if not, Minnie-“ Remus nudged Sirius “<em>Professor McGonagall</em> will be there to help you out if you need it”</p><p>“Thanks” Harry smiled at them.</p><p>The three of them hugged before walking the length of the train to find an empty compartment, Remus and Sirius were so busy looking into the compartments that Harry yelling made them jump.</p><p>“NEVILLE!”</p><p>“HARRY?!”</p><p>The two boys ran up to each other, Neville abandoning his grandmother, and started talking over each other about being wizards. Then as Remus and Sirius were watching Harry catch up with his friend – who he thought he might not see again after primary school – Ron ran up to join them, Harry introduced Ron and Neville to each other.</p><p>Molly and Arthur grabbed Remus and Sirius’ attention and they began looking for a compartment for the boys on their behalf, loading up their luggage and getting ready for their last goodbyes.</p><p>“We’ll see you at Christmas alright, and don’t forget to write to us” Remus said while straightened Harry’s shirt slightly.</p><p>“And you have no excuse not to because of Hedwig” Sirius added on, ruffling Harry’s hair.</p><p>“Yes, I promise I’ll write, and I’ll see you at Christmas. Bye Remus, bye Sirius!” He called as he ran onto the train, joining Ron and Neville in a compartment.</p><p>The train whistled to signal its leave and began pulling out of the station slowly. Remus and Sirius waved, not wanting to admit that there were tears in their eyes and a bit of ache in their hearts at having to say goodbye to Harry for such a long time.</p><p>“He’ll be fine” Sirius said as the train disappeared around the corner.</p><p>“I know”</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love Hogwarts and so does Ron and Neville. All three of us got sorted into Gryffindor and get to share a dorm! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have Professor McGonagall for transfiguration and she’s kind of mean, but I like her. The teacher you warned me about is teaching us potions with the Slytherins, any advice to help us survive because he’s the worst.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Harry,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Remus and I are so proud of you for getting into Gryffindor!</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strike>Minnie </strike>Professor McGonagall is tough on the outside but a big softie I promise, you better hand in all your homework though.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As for <strike>Snivellus</strike> Professor Snape you <strike>should definitely hex</strike> do not do that, keep your head down and try your best. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>From <strike>Sirius and</strike> Remus</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus and Sirius.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>MCGONAGALL PUT ME ON THE QUIDDITCH TEAM!!!!!!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m the new Gryffindor seeker! She said my dad played quidditch too!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>“YES MOONY I TOLD YOU SO, HIS FIRST YEAR TOO!” Sirius yelled in the kitchen when they had received Harry’s letter.</p><p>“Yes yes you told me so, just like his father <em>and </em>his godfather” Remus rolled his eyes but let Sirius celebrate nonetheless.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I CAUGHT THE SNITCH IN OUR VERY FIRST GAME – I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT AT CHRISTMAS!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From Harry</em>
</p><p>-</p><p>“-and so I stood up to get it-“</p><p>“You stood up?”</p><p>“You stood up!”</p><p>Remus and Sirius exclaimed at the same time over their Christmas dinner, although Sirius seemed to be proud whilst Remus was growing concerned for Harry’s safety.</p><p>“I was only like this far off the ground I swear” Harry indicated with his hands that he was a foot or so off the ground, it only eased Remus’ concern slightly.</p><p>“Then I fell forward and you’ll never guess – I swallowed it when I fell, then spat it back out, tasted very gross but we won the match! Against Slytherin too!”</p><p>“I’m so proud of you Harry!”</p><p>“We both are. Although I dread the day we inevitably receive a letter that you’re in the hospital wing”</p><p>“I’ll be okay Remus”</p><p>“See Moony, he’ll be okay”</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Parents/Guardians</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We writing to inform you that your child <span class="u">Harry Potter</span> has been admitted to the Hogwarts hospital wing due to injuries acquired at school.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please arrive at Hogwarts Castle at your earliest convenience.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Regards,<br/>Madame Pomfrey<br/>Head Doctor<br/>Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus Lupin and Sirius Black,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Harry is okay but you will both need to report to my office as soon as you can, there are important matters we need to discuss.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Regards,<br/>Albus Dumbledore</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>“You can see Harry soon, he’s awake and okay, just with some minor injuries and quite a few questions” Dumbledore said, trying to calm down Remus and Sirius.</p><p>The room was tense, full of stress and anxiety that was mainly coming from Sirius and Remus. Remus was sat on a chair on one side of Dumbledore’s desk while Sirius paced back and forth.</p><p>“Just please tell us every thing that happened or I’m going to lose my mind” Sirius said aggravated while running his hands through his hair.</p><p>“Its going to be alright, Sirius” Remus said, partially to himself as well, but was relieved when Sirius let out a small sigh, a sign of calming down.</p><p>Dumbledore explained what had happened earlier that night, both Remus and Sirius were in shock but they didn’t have the time or want to ponder the implications at this moment, right now they wanted to see Harry to make sure he was safe.</p><p>Finally they were led to the hospital wing – although Remus had every route to the hospital wing memorised – to see Harry, who was lying in a hospital bed with tables of sweets surrounding him.</p><p>“Ah, Mr Black, Mr Lupin” Madame Pomfrey seemed to analyse Remus, no doubt silently checking his health since they last saw each other. Remus noticed her eyebrows furrow slightly when her eyes landed on a newer scar on his neck.</p><p>“How are you both?” She asked kindly.</p><p>“Better if we could see Harry, please Poppy” Sirius begged.</p><p>She led them to Harry’s bed where he was sleeping, both Remus and Sirius collapsed in the chairs that were placed on either side of the hospital bed. They were silent for a long time, letting Harry sleep after he’d had an eventful and no doubt frightening night.</p><p>“He’s alive” Sirius whispered across the bed to Remus, who simply nodded.</p><p>There was more silence in the dark and empty hospital wing, and a thought had struck Remus.</p><p>“Is- is this what it was like… every month?” Remus asked quietly.</p><p>Sirius looked away from Harry and at Remus, sadness taking over his eyes, a type of pain that can only come with watching someone you love to suffer and having no power to stop it.</p><p>He nodded.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you again for reading!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Year Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chamber of Secrets!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Another year at Hogwarts, more stress for Remus and Sirius.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the incident with Professor Quirrell, Remus and Sirius had been incredibly concerned about Harry. During his first week back home he was quiet, he would only talk about school very briefly. It sent Sirius spiralling, unsure of how to help him or what to do, worried Harry might never want to go back.</p><p>The cottage they had called home felt colder than it ever had before, unspoken words and people unsure of how to help each other. Sirius spiralling, worrying about Harry who wouldn’t say a word on how he was going, Remus knowing they can’t push Harry or he’ll close himself off further but not knowing what else to do.</p><p>The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, it almost became too much for Remus and Sirius to bear. Until Harry finally, on day 8 of being home, spoke up.</p><p>“We thought it was Snape”</p><p>Sirius and Remus looked up from their dinner at Harry, speechless.</p><p>“Me, Ron and Hermione thought it was Snape that was trying to get the stone”</p><p>“Hm” was all Remus could get out.</p><p>There was silence from Sirius and Remus had known him long enough to know he was processing it all and figuring out what to say.</p><p>“I probably would’ve thought so too” He said finally.</p><p>Harry then told them everything, including the things even Dumbledore didn’t know. Told them all the rules that he, Ron and Hermione broke, how he had received the invisibility cloak as a Christmas gift. Remus had almost forgotten about the cloak, he wouldn’t have known where it was but he suddenly realised that it <em>was </em>Harry’s, it had belonged to Harry all this time they just didn’t know where it was.</p><p>The whole thing had ended with Sirius saying how Harry had had quite the eventful first year.</p><p>“Lets hope this year is a bit quieter” Remus laughed.</p><p>And the tension that had filled the house was gone, Remus and Sirius soothed that Harry was doing okay, and Harry grateful he could tell them anything.</p><p>-</p><p>Saying goodbye was easier this time, Harry was another year older and seemed more ready than ever to go off to Hogwarts. Sure, Remus and Sirius were slightly worried that an event similar to last year would happen, but it couldn’t be much worse than facing Voldemort at 11 years old.</p><p>
  <em>Could it?</em>
</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Our new DADA teacher is awful. Me, Ron and Neville hate him. Hermione loves him though, its very annoying. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Snape is still mean but I promise I’ll keep my head down this year.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Harry,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Remus won’t let me tell you a hex you can use on <strike>Sniv </strike>Snape so listen to Remus and try not to cause trouble <strike>in front of him</strike></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do not listen to Sirius, you cannot hex a teacher - even if its Snape - and if I find out you have you’ll be in a lot of trouble – not just from Dumbledore.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,<br/>Remus and Sirius</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Did you know I was a parselmouth?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Harry,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sorry for the delay in our reply.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Neither of us knew you could speak parseltongue. You’re not a bad person because you can, we still love you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love Sirius and Remus</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Filch’s cat got petrified last night. People are scared, we’ll be okay though.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Harry,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>GOOD LUCK for the game today!! I just know you’ll make us proud!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From SIRIUS!<br/>                and Remus</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The good news is WE WON!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bad news is that Lockhart vanished the bones in my arm and now Madam Pomfrey is growing them back. It hurts but I’m okay, I promise.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A kid got petrified today, people think I did it. I promise I didn’t, I just found them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The older students think the heir of Slytherin is at the school, I think they might be right.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Harry,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please stay safe. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We believe you didn’t petrify the kid. Please let us know if you want to come home.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love,<br/>Remus and Sirius</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hermione and a first year have been petrified.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was blood on the wall. It said The Chamber of Secrets had been opened.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>People still think I did it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>“Fucking hell Moony! Can the kid catch a break! Why is it always him?!”</p><p>Sirius had collapsed into a chair, tears streaming down his face. Remus dragged a chair over to him and held him, Sirius’ head in his chest, until he calmed down.</p><p>Hedwig seemed to always bring eventful news.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Mr Lupin and Mr Black,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am requesting you report to my office at your earliest convenience.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Regards,<br/>Albus Dumbledore<br/>Headmaster<br/>Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>“Again?” Sirius asked running his hands through his hair and pacing around the kitchen.</p><p>“Again” Remus sighed “He <em>is </em>thy boy who lived, I suppose we should’ve expected his school life to be a little rocky” He trailed off.</p><p>“Not like this! Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier, Remus!”</p><p>“You think I don’t know that, Sirius!”</p><p>They were both stood on opposite sides of the dining table, looking at one another with a harsh gaze. Remus sighed again, backing down – the both of them were angry and frustrated and taking it out on each other wasn’t going to help anyone, especially Harry.</p><p>“Come on, lets go” Sirius sighed after a few moments of silence.</p><p>-</p><p>“Oh Harry! Are you alright?” Sirius ran up to Harry and wrapped his arms around Harry, holding him close.</p><p>“I’m fine, might’ve broken some rules though”</p><p>Remus couldn’t help but laugh, also giving Harry a hug – less intense than Sirius’ but meaning the same.</p><p>“Of course you did”</p><p>Dumbledore explained – once again –  what had happened in the Chamber of Secrets not long beforehand, while Harry stood next to the chair Sirius sat in. He was covered in dust and water, his glasses filthy and robes torn but he was alive. Not only was he alive, but he also saved Ginny’s life.</p><p>The thought of the Weasley’s little Ginny going through everything she had, Remus wondered why he and Sirius were in Dumbledore’s office and why Molly and Arthur weren’t. He hoped that Dumbledore would contact them too.</p><p>-</p><p>“I forgot to tell you earlier, but I sort of made a new friend this year” Harry mentioned with a smile over their dinner on his first night back home.</p><p>“Really? Who are they?” Remus asked, extremely curious.</p><p>“Well, its not another student exactly, he’s a house elf – Dobby – and he belonged to the Malfoys but um… Mr Malfoy set him free without knowing it, so now Dobby is a free elf”</p><p>“Well I hope we get to meet Dobby one day” Sirius smiled at Harry, proud of the boy he had raised.</p><p>-</p><p>"Bloody hell, Moony" Sirius said later that night when they were in bed, holding each other close "the kids not gonna make it to his seventh year at this rate"</p><p>"Don't say that, he's survived everything he's been through so far, I think at this point he's indestructable"</p><p>Sirius breathed out a laugh. </p><p>"You just might be right about that"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I kinda love writing the letters and every single part of those letters is very very intentional on my part, so I hope yall pay attention to that (because it helps set the tone).</p><p>Year three is next!! Do not fear, I have a plan for how its gonna go and I hope yall enjoy it.</p><p>Thanks for reading!! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Year Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Prisoner of Azkaban!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A new chapter! Sorry it is a few days later than I wanted it to be but its here finally!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At 3pm the day after the full moon Remus finally got out of bed to get something to eat. He trudged to the kitchen still in his pyjamas where Sirius seemed to sense Remus’ needs and was already working on preparing some toast.</p><p>Even after all these years Harry didn’t mind staying at the Weasleys, if anything he was even more used to them after attending Hogwarts for two years now. Although now he knew why he had to stay at the Weasley’s, Harry reassured Remus that he didn’t mind.</p><p>“I still love you Rem, you’ve got scars like me” a seven-year-old Harry said after Remus and Sirius finally told him.</p><p>The rolled up Daily Prophet sat in the middle of their dining table, neither of them having had the energy to read it yet. Sirius was humming a tune as he spread every type of spread they had in the house onto the many pieces of toast that were piled up on the plate.</p><p>Remus picked up the Daily Prophet and unrolled it to begin reading the front page. The moment Remus read the headline he knew the words would be burned into his brain forever, a black and white stain he can’t clean himself of.</p><p>The picture of a round faced boy looked up at him, eyes looking through to his soul, knowing what he did that night and the little remorse he felt. Remus imagined the Dark Mark that was embedded into the skin of his arm, thinking how long ago Remus would have said he was a boy who didn’t know what he was doing. A boy who didn’t always realise how serious things could be, a boy who was just scared of what he didn’t know. A boy who killed his friends 12 years ago.</p><p>“Sirius” Remus said quietly, unable to look away from the newspaper and losing his appetite, hands shaking.</p><p>“Alright, Moony” Sirius turned around, a tired smile on his face.</p><p>Remus slid the newspaper across the table so Sirius could see it. Sirius’s face dropped, his mouth parted slightly as if trying to find something to say, his expression hard. He slowly turned his head to look at Remus, they looked at each other, bodies and faces frozen, not knowing what to do or say.</p><p>Sirius then looked back at the newspaper for a few moments before walking out the back door and into the garden. He looked up at the sky and yelled, not words but simply screamed at the sky as if cursing a greater being out there causing this all to happen.</p><p>Remus followed him out and stood close behind him, letting Sirius do what he had to do. If Remus weren’t so tired he probably would have joined in, instead he let tears fall for the first time in a long time. Sirius stopped and turned around to face Remus, tears were streaming down his cheeks.</p><p>“I’m gonna kill the traitor, Moony… I’M GONNA KILL HIM!”</p><p>Sirius yelled at the sky and collapsed to his knees in the grass, all Remus could do was sit next to him and hold him until they had both stopped crying.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>PETER PETTIGREW ESCAPED FROM AZKABAN!</em>
</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Mr Remus Lupin,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m writing to ask if you would like to take up the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts for the 1993-1994 school year.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please write back with your confirmation or rejection within the next week.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Regards,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Albus Dumbledore<br/>Headmaster<br/>Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>Sirius had a hard time saying goodbye to both of them, after spending almost every day with Remus for the last 14 years the thought of only seeing him on the weekend was scary. Sirius wasn’t sure he knew how to function without Remus at this point.</p><p>He had the urge to look for Peter, to track him down, he’d thought about it more often than he had told Remus. Sirius had a plan for it – well calling it a plan was a bit of a stretch – he would simply turn into Padfoot and hunt Peter like the rat he is.</p><p>If Remus knew that’s what Sirius had been thinking he never would have said yes to teach, and Sirius couldn’t hold his Moony back because of his own impulses. Moony deserved a nice and stable job after all this time, and besides, they could still meet in Hogsmeade on the weekends. Christmas would be lovely too, Sirius vowed to spend his pent-up energy on finding the perfect gifts for Remus and Harry – they both deserved it.</p><p>They both deserved so much more than what they had been given in life.</p><p>-</p><p>There was a moment right before Remus stepped onto the train where he thought he couldn’t do it, when he considered turning around and going back to the cottage with Sirius. Then he remembered Peter, out there doing the Dark Lord’s bidding – and the Dark Lord wanted Harry dead. Peter would know where Harry is, everyone knows where Harry is nowadays.</p><p>Even Sirius said he couldn’t stand the thought of being so far away from Harry for so long, it was perhaps the first time the both of them felt like they wanted to wrap him up in bubble wrap to keep him safe. So Remus did the next best thing and accept the teaching position.</p><p>He could get to know Harry’s friends, he vowed to be a better Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher than their last two, and he would make sure Peter couldn’t lay a dirty finger on Harry. And despite having never said the words out loud, Remus would die for Harry.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Padfoot,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Snape hasn’t stopped giving me dirty looks, maybe one day he’ll move on. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Miss you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Remus</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Snape is still awful and I don’t know how Remus can be nice to him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From,<br/>Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Moony,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wouldn’t blame you if you hexed him, he was <strike>an absolute prat </strike>annoying and gross.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Can your future letters not include so much Snivellus please.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The roses in the front garden are doing fine by the way, I’ve remembered to water them every day so far so don’t worry about them. I know you’re worrying about them. I have also fed myself properly, and I have not tried to go after </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss you too, see you this weekend.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Padfoot</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Any tips on getting through divination? I asked Remus and he told me to ask you since he never took divination, Ron and I are struggling.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Professor Trelawny is crazy!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From, Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Harry,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t tell Remus I told you this but when your father and I took divination we made most of it up and still managed to pass.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If Moony asks tell him I told you to read the books.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Sirius</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Padfoot,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If you tell Harry to make up his divination homework I’ll apparate all the way back home to hex you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Moony</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Moony,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can’t wait to see you this weekend, miss you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Padfoot</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>“I can’t believe you told Harry to make up his divination homework” Remus sighed but smiled nonetheless.</p><p>He had missed seeing Sirius every day, they wrote constantly but it still wasn’t enough.</p><p>“Divination doesn’t matter, Moony, even if I didn’t tell him he’d end up making it all up anyway, he’s his fathers son” Sirius smirked over his butterbeer.</p><p>“You should see him and Ron together at school, its exactly like you and James” Remus smiled fondly.</p><p>He told Sirius about every time he’d caught the boys laughing at the back of the class or sneaking around the halls after curfew. Remus was happy to have met Hermione and a few other boys Harry had mentioned, he was delighted to have seen more of Neville and Ron. When Remus was teaching he was in his element, something that he was meant to do.</p><p>“Are you worried?” Sirius asked after a while, once the three broomsticks had filled up with more students and people and there was enough noise to drown out their conversation.</p><p>“About what?” Remus said quietly, averting his eyes towards his almost empty butterbeer.</p><p>There were multiple things to be worried about at the moment.</p><p>“Transforming? Peter? Do you want me to be here on Tuesday, I can, I can be here, Moony” Sirius grabbed and squeezed Remus’ hand under the table.</p><p>“Don’t worry about Tuesday, Dumbledore said Snape has a potion that will help, fairly new but apparently works wonders. Madame Pomfrey is here too, she can patch up wounds much better than the either of us. As for… Peter…”</p><p>Sirius seemed partially comforted, knowing Remus would be in safe hands at Hogwarts. Peter on the other hand, nothing seemed to comfort the worry that was buried deep inside both of them.</p><p>“He hasn’t been spotted anywhere yet, not sure how I feel about it though” Remus spoke after a moment of gathering his thoughts together into words.</p><p>“We’re the only ones who know what to really look for, though” Sirius’ gaze turned hard, and Remus could tell he was thinking about looking for Peter again.</p><p>“You can’t go after him, think about Harry”</p><p>“Harry is the reason I want to find him, Remus”</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Padfoot,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The wolfsbane potion worked well, not as injured this time around. I missed waking up to you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Moony</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Can you tell Remus to not give us an essay this week, I’m playing quidditch</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From, Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Moony,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m happy to hear you’re not hurt. I worried about you all night, I couldn’t sleep.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Padfoot</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Harry,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If you don’t hand the essay in, I give Remus permission to pull you from quidditch. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nice try though</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Sirius</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>“The map Padfoot, remember the map” Remus said urgently as soon as he sat down at the table across from Sirius. Sirius laughed in response.</p><p>“Hello to you too, love, yes of course I remember the map. Probably would’ve gotten expelled if it weren’t for that map, what <em>did</em> happen to it in the end” Sirius said light heartedly, reminiscing on his days at Hogwarts.</p><p>“I don’t know what happened to it between us leaving and now except that two nights ago I confiscated it from Harry”</p><p>“Why would you take it off him Moony!” Sirius protested, earning one or two glares from the other patrons in the Three Broomsticks.</p><p>“I’m his teacher Sirius… also Severus was there too, I bailed Harry out of trouble” Remus added bashfully.</p><p>“And you say I’m lenient on him” Sirius smirked.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>He’s here</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Moony</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>Everything had happened so quickly – All of them in the Shrieking Shack, Peter begging for Harry’s forgiveness, Snape showing up at the worst possible time. Sirius might have blacked out for the whole thing, yelling and screaming in a way Remus hadn’t seen him do since they were young.</p><p>Sirius always loved a good screaming match.</p><p>Peter cowered, Remus didn’t remember him ever looking so pathetic and small. Then again, Remus tried to block out memories of Peter.</p><p>They had finally left the shack, with Peter captured and ready to be sent back to Azkaban, until Remus looked over the horizon, watching the clouds slowly part to make way for a perfectly clear night sky. For a moment he looked at the night sky and thought it looked beautiful, stars glittering and the moon shining down on them.</p><p>
  <em>Oh… I knew I forgot something</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>He woke up in the hospital wing, unsure of how he got there or what happened after he looked at a full moon for the first time since he was five years old. His first thoughts immediately went to the worst. <em>Did I hurt someone</em></p><p>A hand holding his squeezed gently and Remus immediately it was Sirius. Remus looked over to see Sirius’ face, lined with worry and exhaustion. It was a different look on Sirius, it reminded Remus of the first War.</p><p>“What happened?” Remus croaked out, his throat feeling dry and scratchy.</p><p>“No one’s hurt, but um… he got away”</p><p>Remus sighed, he closed his eyes and sunk back into the pillow. He didn’t have the energy to be angry right now, maybe another day.</p><p>-</p><p>Sirius apparated just up the road from the cottage, he was tired and looking forward to going back to bed. He’d make sure there was enough food in the house to be able to cook dinner for Moony and Harry when they arrived home the next day.</p><p>Remus was disappointed about having to leave the teaching job, but he didn’t want to be putting students in any more jeopardy than they already were. Sirius was deciding on how he’d cheer Remus up when he approached the house, and it felt like déjà vu.</p><p>Sirius fell to his knees right outside the front gate, staring at the smouldering remains of the cottage they had called home for 12 years. The shell of the home they had raised little Harry in, reduced to nothing in the hours Sirius had left.</p><p>He could’ve sworn the protection charms were in order, he could’ve sworn they were enough. He thanked the stars that Harry and Remus weren’t home, he almost thanked Peter for making sure the house was empty this time.</p><p>Now all Sirius felt was dread, he had to figure out where the three of them would live and there was only one place that came to mind.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There's parts of this one i don't like too much and parts that I love with my whole heart, but I'm still proud.<br/>I hope you enjoy it!</p><p>Thanks for reading and thanks for all your comments!! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Year Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Goblet of Fire!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not sure how I feel about this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you sure its alright, Arthur?” Remus asked once more as he dropped Harry off at the Burrow.</p><p>“Of course it is Remus! We’re going to have a marvellous time, and security is very tight this year” Arthur reassured him with a big smile and kind eyes.</p><p>“Okay then, floo us when you’re back. Bye Harry! See you in a few days!”</p><p>“Bye Remus!” Harry called from the kitchen where he, Ron, the twins, and Ginny were bent over a quidditch magazine and having an intense discussion.</p><p>“Oh Remus, I should warn you and Sirius” Arthur had lost his jolly tone and was speaking quieter now “something different is happening this year at Hogwarts and I think we need to start being careful about.. certain things”</p><p>“Thank you Arthur, I’ll let Sirius know too” Remus smiled, shook Arthurs hand, and left back for Grimmauld Place.</p><p>-</p><p>“Stay safe okay” Remus said as he hugged Harry one last time.</p><p>“I do try to” Harry looked at Remus with a pleading look, Remus chuckled.</p><p>“I know. Don’t give your new Dark Arts teacher as much grief as you gave me” Remus chuckled again.</p><p>“I didn’t give you any grief!” Harry defended while laughing as well.</p><p>“You do have permission to give Snape hell” Sirius added, Harry’s face lighting up.</p><p>“You do not” Remus fixed Sirius with a glare as a smirk stayed on Harry’s face.</p><p>“Have a good term, and we’ll see you at Christmas” Sirius said finally as he hugged Harry goodbye.</p><p>“See you both at Christmas!”</p><p>Harry waved as he met up with his friends on the train, and Sirius and Remus waved back – fingers crossed that it would all be okay.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tonight we found out that Hogwarts is hosting the Triwizard Tournament! Two other magic schools have arrived and in a few days they’ll announce the tributes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t worry, you have to be 17 to enter the tournament so I’ll be in the audience the whole time. No quidditch though.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From, Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Harry,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That is so exciting to hear! Be sure to tell us all about the events when they happen, the Daily Prophet is a bore to read.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Disappointing to hear about quidditch, keep practicing when you can though!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love Sirius and Remus</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Parent/Guardian,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We are writing to inform you that your child (<span class="u">Harry Potter</span>) has been chosen to take part in this years Triwizard Tournament.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They have been made aware of the risks and responsibilities associated with this role. Being a Triwizard Champion is a magically binding contract which cannot be broken.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The school will be in further correspondence with you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Regards<br/>Minerva McGonagall<br/>Professor and Head of Gryffindor House<br/>Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>Remus and Sirius didn’t speak to each other for a few hours, they simply sat in the lounge room or the kitchen, drinking cup after cup of tea. Neither knew what to say, Harry wasn’t 17, he couldn’t have entered his own name. But if he didn’t then who did?</p><p>Sirius had been tense and on edge since arriving at Grimmauld Place, Remus knew how hard it was returning to the house he had thought he escaped so many years ago. Remus had never stepped foot into the house before but already felt the ghosts in the walls, yelling down at him and making him want to curl up into a ball and hide in a corner like he would do when he was a child. He couldn’t imagine what was plaguing Sirius’ mind that he couldn’t say out loud to a soul.</p><p> </p><p>Two days later and Harry still hadn’t written them, perhaps he was ashamed or angry. He was most likely just unsure how to tell the men who raised him that someone had entered him into a life-threatening tournament that he couldn’t escape from. The only thought comforting Remus was Harry’s apparent ability to cheat death more than anyone else.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Harry,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Meet me in Gryffindor tower at midnight tonight</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love Sirius</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>Remus let the two of them speak, Sirius telling Harry to be cautious, keep his friends close and on the look out for any odd activity.</p><p>
  <em>Constant Vigilance</em>
</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The first task is coming up soon – Hagrid showed me what it was and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have to fight a dragon, I don’t know what to do</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From, Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>Remus almost couldn’t watch the first task, they hadn’t even had a chance to speak to Harry beforehand, not being able to help him at all. Sirius was holding his hand tight as they sat in the stands.</p><p>His tactic was ingenious, and Remus sighed with relief when Harry had retrieved the egg and was safely out of the reach of the dragon. He supposed now at least they only had two more tasks to go.</p><p>“I want to be proud of him, I mean I <em>am</em> proud of him but I shouldn’t <em>have </em>to be” Sirius had said once they were back at Grimmauld Place.</p><p>“I know, I feel the same…” Remus fiddled with the mug of tea in front of him, spinning it around on the table.</p><p>“Who would’ve put his name in the goblet, I know Snivellus has a vendetta against the kid for no reason but he wouldn’t go that far… would he?” Sirius looked at Remus with pleading eyes, and unfortunately Remus had no comforting news for him.</p><p>“He <em>was </em>a death eater, who knows where his loyalties lie now” Remus scrubbed his hands over his face “Harry is currently okay, and that’s what matters, lets just focus on that for now”</p><p>“You’re right, he is alive and isn’t hurt”</p><p><em>For now </em>hung in the air, unsaid but known by both of them.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Professor McGonagall told us today that on Christmas Eve there is going to be a ball, a tradition of the Tournament. She tried to teach us how to dance today, I’m awful but Ron is worse – she pulled him up in front of the whole of Gryffindor for a demonstration. Between me, Fred, and George he’ll never live it down.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I asked Cho to the dance but she’s already going with Cedric, I’ll have to find someone else to go with and soon. I’m expected to have a partner because I’m one of the champions.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sorry I won’t be home for Christmas.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From, Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Harry,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Along with this letter is a package with your dress robes in it, sorry we couldn’t get them to you sooner. Don’t worry about not being a good dancer, as long as you don’t step on your partners toes you’ll do just fine.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cho is crazy to have said no to you, we’re sure you’ll find someone else soon. How is Cedric and the other champions? Not giving you any trouble?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We’ll send your Christmas gifts soon!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Remus and Sirius.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cedric and the other champions haven’t been too bad. Still having trouble figuring out the clue but I’ll get there soon. Mad-Eye helped me with the first task but he’s not budging on this one.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strike>Snape put my name </strike>I have a theory as to who put my name in the cup, but it’s a bit crazy</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From, Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Harry,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Good luck on the second task tomorrow, I’m sorry I can’t make it but Sirius will be there as soon as he can.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Remus</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>“I thought he wasn’t gonna make it, at the last minute he came up. He saved two people as well! Godric Moony, he’s just like his father”</p><p>“I’m almost glad I didn’t go, I don’t think my heart could’ve handled that” Remus chuckled lightly, still tired from the moon.</p><p>“You couldn’t see much anyway, longest hour of my life though”</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Remus and Sirius,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The last task is a maze. Hermione is helping me with some spells she thinks will be useful, don’t know what I’d do without her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope you both can make it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From, Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Harry,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Of course we’ll be there</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Sirius and Remus</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>The school band played a tune Remus didn’t recognise, but it was upbeat and far too happy for the situation they were in. It seemed that for a while people forgot that children died in this tournament, and that one of the current competitors was only 14. But Remus didn’t forget, it plagued him constantly.</p><p>Even from up in the stands Remus could tell that Harry was near terrified, and there was nothing he could do to stop it, nothing he could do to end the tournament and keep Harry safe. He would have to sit in the stands and hope upon hope that he’ll be alright.</p><p>The tributes waved, and neither Remus or Sirius could bring themselves to wave back. Harry turned his back on the crowd and stepped into one of the hedge openings, the hedge then closed behind him and in an instant Harry was gone. Cedric and the other two champions followed closely after, all disappearing behind the hedge.</p><p>There was nothing left for them to do except wait.</p><p>-</p><p>A loud crack broke Remus out of his thoughts, next to him he felt Sirius jump too. They looked at each other with concern and a glimmer of hope. Their gaze turned back to the open area in front of the entrance to the maze where two people appeared seemingly out of thin air and landed on the ground with a thud.</p><p>The band started playing again and people were cheering, Remus could hardly see over the cheering people and was beginning to grow frustrated. A girl screamed, people started to rush forward down the stands, the band faded out. Remus heard another yell, people whispering and sniffling.</p><p>Sirius began rushing down the steps with Remus close behind, pushing through people and not bothering to apologise for it. There was wailing coming from the middle of the crowd of people. They finally reached the bottom, able to see what had happened.</p><p>There lay the body of Cedric Diggory, his father clutching him and inconsolable. Harry was nowhere to be seen and teachers were now trying to usher students back to the castle. Sirius made a beeline for Dumbledore.</p><p>“Where is he? Where is Harry?” He asked, angry and urgent.</p><p>Dumbledore looked around at the crowd, noticing Harry was missing.</p><p>“Moody’s office”</p><p>-</p><p>“He’s back, Peter was there too, he killed Cedric, there was nothing I could do to save him” Harry was sobbing, for the first time in 14 years he was sobbing.</p><p>The three of them were sat on the side of a hospital bed, Harry clinging to Sirius while Remus sat on his other side, a hand on Harry’s back.</p><p>“You have to believe me, he’s back” He pleaded.</p><p>“We believe you, Harry” Sirius held him tighter “Its going to be alright, everything will be okay” He said softly.</p><p>Remus and Sirius shared a knowing look – <em>it was happening again.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am laughing maniacally because I'm about to start writing the next chapter which is the one I've been looking forward to since Year Two</p><p>Thanks for reading! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Year Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Order of the Pheonix!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Be careful reading this one if you're having a bit of a down day, that's all I'll say</p><p>Songs I listened to when writing:<br/>Dumbledore's Farewell<br/>Lily's Theme (shout out to the discord for putting me on blast for this one)<br/>Saturn by Sleeping At Last<br/>My Tears Are Becoming a Sea by M83</p><p>I chose violence with this one lads</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry spent a lot of the summer in the small back garden Grimmauld Place had or shut up in his room. Remus and Sirius could tell he was on edge, nervous and jumpy. Then the Order meetings started again, Harry emerged from his room and wanted to know what they were all about.</p><p>Molly had refused to let anyone under 17 be in the meetings but eventually they had to give Harry some explanation.</p><p>If they had thought it would be easier to say goodbye to Harry every year, they were very much mistaken, because each year brought upon new worries and uncertainties. It became harder to be apart from Harry, not knowing what would happen next especially now that Voldemort was back. Remus tried to reason with himself (and Sirius) that Harry was safest at Hogwarts.</p><p>It all felt so eerily similar to last time, a feeling that sat right under the surface of Remus’s skin – constantly being felt and unable to be washed away.</p><p>-</p><p>“Constant vigilance!” A freshly rehabilitated Moody had stated at the end of their last meeting, and Remus had to lock himself in the bathroom so no one would see him hyperventilating.</p><p>-</p><p>Today they were trying to get their minds off the haunted house they lived in and the impending war by sitting in the lounge room reading and listening to music from their Hogwarts days.</p><p>“Padfoot”</p><p>Sirius looked up at Remus, his face softer than it had been in a while.</p><p>“I love you” Remus said with a smile.</p><p>Sirius’ eyebrows rose slightly, almost surprised, but smiled right back.</p><p>“I love you too, Moony”</p><p>They then went back to their comfortable silence, the only noise in the room being the record playing softly in the corner of the room.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Dear Harry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Midnight tomorrow</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From Padfoot</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>They couldn’t write letters anymore, unless they were coded or didn’t include anything that could be construed as “suspicious activity”. Umbridge had taken over the school in a matter of weeks and Harry was visibly on edge.</p><p>Sometimes Remus would join their now weekly floo sessions, sometimes he would be too tired and be asleep before midnight, but Sirius would always fill him in on anything he missed. Christmas couldn’t come soon enough.</p><p>Harry had started a club, teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts to some students and whilst it was incredibly dangerous and against so many school rules, Remus couldn’t help but be proud.</p><p>-</p><p>All through Christmas and the weeks that followed Remus tried his best to wrap his head around the Arthur incident. He couldn’t figure out how Harry knew where Arthur was and Dumbledore wouldn’t tell them anything after it had happened. It just made Remus more angry at Dumbledore than he already was, he was the only one with the power to stop Harry from going into the tournament and yet he let it happen.</p><p>Dumbledore knew more than he let on, and it frustrated Remus that he didn’t feel the need to share even a bit of it with Harry’s legal guardians.</p><p>-</p><p>“People keep talking about him at school, they think <em>he </em>killed Cedric, and its no wonder with the rubbish the Daily Prophet spits out nowadays” Sirius ranted over dinner one night.</p><p>“He’s under so much stress and he’s only 15, even we weren’t under this much stress at that age, which is really saying something”</p><p>Remus chuckled darkly, he was a werewolf and Sirius was in an abusive household at 15 – but no teenager deserved the things Harry had to deal with.</p><p>“The ministry will come around, they’ll notice eventually that their own stories aren’t adding up, other people will notice too” Remus reasoned.</p><p>“You’re probably right” There was a few moments of silence before Sirius smiled “You’re always right, Moony, let me be right for once”</p><p>“Never” Remus smiled back.</p><p>-</p><p>A silver phoenix came bursting through the lounge room window, settling on the coffee table and delivering a message. Talks of a prophecy that Sirius and Remus didn’t understand or care about, all they heard was that Harry and his friends were in trouble and that The Order needed to be at the ministry now.</p><p>The two of them looked at each other, Remus saw Sirius in a way he hadn’t for 18 years – just summoned into battle for the first time where who knows what awaited them, unsure of how they’ll make it out.</p><p>They sprang into action immediately after, working on autopilot to make their way down the stairs to the main hall. Before they could open the front door Sirius grabbed Remus’ wrist, stopping him in his tracks. Remus turned around to face Sirius.</p><p>“I love you, Moony” Sirius looked Remus directly in the eye, before a small smile made its way onto his face despite it all “to the moon and back”</p><p>Remus let out a breathy laugh despite the stress and worry he felt.</p><p>“I love you too, Padfoot” He slid his hand into Sirius’ and squeezed “more than there are stars in the sky”</p><p>Without another word they ran out the door and down the street, looking for an alley to apparate in.</p><p>-</p><p>If Remus wasn’t so busy trying to get the kids to safety he would’ve laughed when Sirius punched Lucious Malfoy in the face, the git deserved it after all these years, and after how he’s raised his wretched son.</p><p>Once they had gotten rid of most of the Death Eaters, Remus searched for Harry and Sirius, determined to get them safe and out of the ministry. They were both duelling Malfoy, Sirius looking like he was enjoying himself even, or perhaps proud of Harry.</p><p>Malfoy was knocked back, his wand flew out of his hand, at that same moment Remus saw a flash of light out of the corner of his eye. He raised his wand to attack but she was quicker, sending a curse in Sirius’ direction.</p><p>Sirius stumbled back and through the veil, his body seeming to just float away. In that moment, Remus’ world stopped. Until he realised Harry was taking a step towards the veil, so Remus’ legs carried him to Harry as fast as they could move.</p><p>Remus held Harry back and wasn’t sure if he was doing it to stop Harry or himself. Harry screamed, the same scream as Lily’s when she found out about Marlene, the same scream as Sirius’ when he found out about James, the same scream Remus couldn’t bring himself to voice.</p><p>A scream that can only come from a deep pain.</p><p>Harry broke free from Remus’ grip and ran away from the veil, Remus couldn’t bear to follow him, he just stood and stared at the archway in front of him. He fell to his knees and the realisation hit him like the Hogwarts Express.</p><p>
  <em>Sirius was gone.</em>
</p><p>Sirius who was the most loyal man Remus had ever met, Sirius who raised his best friends son without question, Sirius who made him toast after a full moon. His Padfoot was gone forever.</p><p>Almost 19 years he’d had his Padfoot, his best friend, his partner, his world didn’t know how to function without Sirius in it. Remus could feel the sobs wracking through his body but made no effort to stop them, he simply stayed kneeled in front of the archway perhaps praying to someone or something to bring Sirius back.</p><p>
  <em>Nothing could bring someone back from the dead</em>
</p><p>-</p><p>“I’ll escort Harry back to Hogwarts so he can gather his things, I’m sorry for your loss” Dumbledore had told him but Remus barely heard it.</p><p>He somehow made his way back to Grimmauld Place, he didn’t know how his feet moved him or how his brain conjured up the power to apparate but he did. He opened the door to Grimmauld Place and felt like he was being watched, he felt as if the Black ancestors knew what had happened and were judging Remus for it. It was too quiet.</p><p>Remus knew it wasn’t his fault but he couldn’t help but think of ways he could’ve stopped it.</p><p>He dragged his feet to kitchen and sat at one of the chairs, staring down the long table. Empty chairs never to be filled by Sirius again, a table he will never eat dinner at again, a kitchen he will never occupy again. A house he will not roam with ghosts breathing down his neck, a bed that will be far too big for Remus alone and a bathroom far too full of Sirius’ things.</p><p>Remus thought of the record player they had been using not even a few days beforehand, one of Sirius’ favourite records still sitting on the turntable, needle poised ready to play with no one around to listen to it. Remus thought of the tapestry in the drawing room, Sirius’ picture burnt out of it, realising the Black line ended with him. His cousin ended her own bloodline.</p><p>He isn’t sure how long he sat at the kitchen table, his back aching and cheeks wet with tears, holding his head in his hands. He had never felt more alone. The sky outside began to lighten and Remus decided he was finally tired enough to sleep. So he stood up and began his journey to the empty bedroom.</p><p>
  <em>Sirius would be annoyed I stayed up all night, he’d berate me for not sleeping.</em>
</p><p>Remus stopped in his tracks, and before he could stop himself snatched a plate off the kitchen shelf and threw it at the wall.</p><p>
  <em>Sirius would’ve laughed at destroying Black family heirlooms.</em>
</p><p>He threw another plate at the wall, then dragged himself up the staircase, the house becoming colder the further up he went. He didn’t mind it, he slipped his shoes off and climbed into the bed that was now too stiff.</p><p>His first night sleeping alone.</p><p>-</p><p>Three days later, for the first time in 20 years Remus transformed alone. He didn't scream as the pain tore through his body, he simply lay on the forest floor and allowed it to consume him.</p><p>His bones moving and his muscles stretching was easier to deal with than the pain of losing Sirius.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wanna formally apologise...<br/>Take care of yourselves &lt;3</p><p>Quick note that there will not be Remadora in this fic, it just feels kinda wrong after all that's happened</p><p>Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Year Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Half-Blood Prince!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As usual please keep your mental health a priority when reading stuff like this, if you're familiar with the OG series (which I'm sure you are) you know how these chapters are gonna feel.</p><p>Songs for this one:<br/>Saturn by Sleeping At Last<br/>Turning Page by Sleeping At Last</p><p>Lyrics from both featured in this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>You taught me the courage of stars before you left<br/>How light carries on endlessly, even after death<br/>With shortness of breath<br/>You explained the infinite<br/>And how rare and beautiful it is to even exist</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Remus and Harry barely spoke that summer. Continuing their lives as if normal felt wrong, though they couldn’t voice it the both of them felt like ghosts drifting around Grimmauld Place, a house that was so full of reminders of Sirius it sometimes felt like he wasn’t truly gone.</p><p>
  <em>But he was</em>
</p><p>Remus had to remind himself, Sirius was gone and he was gone forever. He wasn’t sure how he could continue living, how was he supposed to continue when it felt like there was a piece of him missing.</p><p>
  <em>“I’m mental about you too”</em>
</p><p>They were 17 and Remus hadn’t known the feeling of the world caving in yet. Since then, their world had fallen apart and slowly put itself back together again more than once, but they always came back – <em>together.</em></p><p>He felt silly thinking it but Remus wasn’t sure how to do things alone, Harry didn’t really need him anymore and Sirius was gone – Remus was well and truly alone in the world. Who else could he turn to and rely on?</p><p>Everything felt so hopeless, Remus began to feel unsure he’d ever find purpose again. He wouldn’t cut himself off from The Order, but he didn’t feel the want to speak to anyone. No one could understand his loss – <em>aside from Harry</em> he supposed.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>I couldn't help but ask for you to say it all again<br/>I tried to write it down, but I could never find a pen<br/>I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time<br/>That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Remus would give his life to hear Sirius laugh and to see his smile one more time, but perhaps it would destroy him to do so, knowing for sure it would be the last time.</p><p>-</p><p>The days felt like they lasted forever but they blended together at the same time, it had only felt like a blink of an eye before Harry was leaving for Hogwarts once again. Remus took him to Kings Cross, and they didn’t speak much but that had become normal, they hugged goodbye and Remus told Harry to be safe and keep in contact and Harry promised he would.</p><p>Remus had realised how important they were to each other; how important Harry was to Remus.</p><p>-</p><p>He returned to Grimmauld Place, a house he was never able to call home but now could hardly function within. He once again took a place at the end of the empty dining table, wondering where to go and what to do. No direction or sense of purpose.</p><p>Maybe he was selling himself short by placing all his purpose into one person, but he was a werewolf, all he had was the people who would stick by him because so few did.</p><p>The wolf suffered too, it felt lonely, it knew his friend wasn’t here anymore. Maybe one day its anger would reach through to Remus and take hold of him, but for now he simply walked between the lounge room and the kitchen numb to the world around him.</p><p>-</p><p>The Weasley’s had invited Remus over for Christmas, he had accepted unsure if he could handle Christmas alone that year. <em>Another thing you will forever do alone </em>his brain attacked him. It had been doing that less, but it still hadn’t stopped.</p><p>By Christmas he had reached a point of good days and bad days, he was determined to not ruin Christmas for the Weasleys. Deciding to stay sober and be as cheerful as one could be in their current situation.</p><p>Still, Christmas brought discussions of who they could and couldn’t trust, and future plans of movement within The Order. <em>This is too much like last time, but what do I have to lose anymore.</em></p><p>His belief that he would die for Harry still stays true, its easier now more than it ever had been.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>With shortness of breath<br/>I'll try to explain the infinite<br/>How rare and beautiful it is to even exist</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>Everything changed, in a matter of minutes everything had fallen apart. Harry’s heart had once again been broken as he lost another person close to him. As he sacrificed one of the only things that made him happy to save them.</p><p>He had lost Dumbledore, he had to say goodbye to Ginny, and now he sat there in the grimy Grimmauld Place kitchen telling Remus everything and Remus had to tell Harry how little he really knew.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Though we're tethered to the story we must tell<br/>When I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well<br/>With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas<br/>Like a feather, bringing kingdoms to their knees</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>Remus lay in bed that night wanting to scream for Sirius, for James, for Lily, for Marlene, for Dorcas – for everyone who knew more and were better than him, why was he the only one left.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am very sorry, I want you to know I love every single one of you who is reading and following. Yes there is only one more chapter but I am hoping to make it longer than average so there's that to "look forward" to!</p><p>Thanks for reading and thank you for every single comment, they make me so so happy &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The Battle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Deathly Hallows!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry in advance - but I wanna reiterate that there is no remadora in this fic, don't even try to find it, it isn't there.</p><p>Song lyrics featured:<br/>My Tears Are Becoming a Sea by M83<br/>Till Forever Falls Apart by Ashe and FINNEAS</p><p>Songs I listened to:<br/>Lily's Theme<br/>Courtyard Apocalypse<br/>Statues<br/>(all from the Deathly Hallows soundtrack)</p><p>Enjoy and as always put your mental health first!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I’m slowly drifting to you<br/>
The stars and the planets<br/>
Are calling me<br/>
A billion years away from you<br/>
I’m on my way</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>It would be hypocritical of Remus to say that now was an inappropriate time for a wedding, James and Lily had gotten married during the first war so why shouldn’t Bill and Fleur be allowed to do the same. It allowed a few hours of distraction from what felt like impending doom.</p><p>But Remus wouldn’t say that out loud – that’s a lie, he would’ve told Sirius and Sirius would have laughed and agreed.</p><p>He did patrol, keeping an eye out for anything, trying to focus all his energy on keeping everyone safe. The days got easier in some ways and more difficult in others. He had found a semblance of normalcy without Sirius, it didn’t plague him as often as it used to. But the war was getting worse, things were getting scarier, and it felt like no one was safe anywhere. He had no more time to grieve.</p><p>Bill and Fleur looked happy, Remus was glad they had each other.</p><p>It all happened so suddenly, their lovely evening ruined. Everyone’s lives changing completely – fallen ministry, dead minister, death eaters on the house within seconds, Remus knew exactly what they were here for.</p><p>It was out of the corner of his eye he saw the three of them apparate away, he thanked Hermione for her quick thinking – she reminded him so much of Lily. Once the death eaters had thoroughly destroyed the wedding and realised Harry wasn’t there, they left with a cackle and a trail of darkness behind them.</p><p>It took hours to clean up, Fleur and Molly were inconsolable the entire time.</p><p>“Lupin!” A woman called his name from across the debris.</p><p>“Is everything alright, Tonks?” Remus stood up straight from his position crouching over collecting pieces of broken plates, stretching his back as he did.</p><p>“Sorta, Moody reckons you shouldn’t go back to Grimmauld Place”</p><p>Remus looked at her funny, but she seemed to understand right away, rolling her eyes.</p><p>“My name is Nymphadora Tonks, I’m a metamorphagus and…” She looked from side to side and then whispered “my parents call me Dora” her cheeks reddened slightly.</p><p>Remus involuntarily smiled at that, they’d been calling her that since the day he met a few week old Tonks at The Potter’s house when he was 13.</p><p>“Alright, go on”</p><p>“Moody told me to tell you that you shouldn’t go back to Grimmauld Place. Since Dumbledore died too many now know its location, it isn’t safe for you but also for Harry”</p><p>“Tonks, I… I have nowhere else to go” Remus almost felt ashamed, he couldn’t meet her eye.</p><p>“You’re wrong about that, Lupin. My mother said you’re welcome to stay with us”</p><p>Remus’ eyebrows shot up, genuinely surprised at the offer, he didn’t know what to say.</p><p>“Its nothing, really, just come whenever, spare room is all set up!”</p><p>She began walking away to go help clean up somewhere else.</p><p>“Thank you, Tonks!” Remus added while trying to push back the tears that welled up in his eyes.</p><p>Perhaps he wasn’t as alone as he had thought.</p><p>-</p><p>Remus would deny it was the half a bottle of firewhiskey that made him go back to Grimmauld Place, ask Harry if he could go with them. Who did he think he was, a grown man travelling with a bunch of teenagers – and he was a werewolf, he’d be putting them in danger constantly. It was a ridiculous idea from the get-go and Harry was right to tell him so.</p><p>Although, this was all hindsight thinking and he’d definitely apologise to Andy for the broken plate he angrily smashed after coming back from his talk with Harry.</p><p>-</p><p>There were many months of hiding, laying low and trying to stay safe. They listened to the radio religiously, many days spent gathered around it for updates on anything. The list of people who were missing or killed only seemed to get longer every day. His blood boiled when he learned Snape had become headmaster, he didn’t deserve such a wonderful thing as Hogwarts.</p><p>Names Remus recognised and some he didn’t. All people whose lives had been destroyed or ended at the hands of the Dark Lord.</p><p>Ted had to leave, quickly and without warning, without word on where he would be. Christmas was quiet, it didn’t feel like a holiday, it didn’t feel festive. It was simply another day full of worry and dread, feeling useless and powerless.</p><p>Remus vowed he’d do something nice next year.</p><p>-</p><p>“Lightning has struck!” the radio crackled.</p><p>“Tonks we have to go” Remus locked eyes with her from across the lounge room.</p><p>She nodded and got up to get her shoes.</p><p>“Do you want me to come?” Andy asked, dark circles more prominent than they had ever been and eyes that had lost their shine many months ago.</p><p>“No mum, you wait here for dad”</p><p>“Okay darling, just be safe” She hugged Tonks tightly, the two of them standing there for as long as urgency would allow.</p><p>“I will, I promise”</p><p>The finally pulled apart, and Andy walked over to Remus, giving him a hug that seemed to swallow him despite her being a whole head shorter than him.</p><p>“You too, Remus”</p><p>“I will” He looked into her eyes, making a silent promise to keep Tonks safe too.</p><p>“Love you both!”</p><p>“Love you too mum!”</p><p>The girls had called to each other on their way out of the door. The two of them walked down the street, finding somewhere secluded and began following the procedure they had run through their heads a hundred times already.</p><p>-</p><p>Upon arrival Remus quickly realised that this was it, this was going to be the big one. The last few years had been building up to this night. Much to his own surprise, he wasn’t scared, he was ready. He was ready for whatever would happen in the near future.</p><p>He and Harry locked eyes briefly, they nodded at each other, signal that they were there together, and they were going to end this war for good.</p><p>Remus isn’t sure when it turned into a battlefield, when defences turned into attacks, but at some point a shift had been made. Running through the halls of a place he used to call home trying not to trip over bodies, some wearing black robes and others still wearing school uniforms.</p><p>He saw Greyback, he smiled at Remus then turned the other way. <em>He wouldn’t hurt one of his own</em> Remus thought nastily. His body was crying out, too worn out and tired for all of this battle. But he had to, he had to for every child who fled the castle, for every child that had died in this castle, for every one he had lost in the past, and for everyone who did not deserve to lose anymore.</p><p>He ran, he cast spells at death eaters, he helped those injured to safety, Remus protected anyone that he could.</p><p>It felt like they were fighting a losing battle, he could feel the pressure of the dark forces weighing down on him, trying to make his knees buckle and drag him to them – dead or barely alive. It didn’t matter to them, they would either kill an enemy or gain an ally out of necessity, that’s what had happened to Peter after all.</p><p><em>Where is Peter right now? </em>Remus wondered, he hoped he wouldn’t run into him, unsure how he’d react if he saw Peter again.</p><p>He turned and corner, jogging down another hallway, avoiding the debris that littered the floor. He had almost ran past her, but a flash of purple had caught his eye, thinking at first it was a spell until he looked down at the floor.</p><p>She had a few cuts and bruises on her face, her eyes open and staring at the ceiling but not seeing. Her usually vibrant eyes had lost their life, her purple hair slowly fading to a dark brown, Remus didn’t register the tears rolling down his face <em>she didn’t deserve to die here, not like this</em>, <em>she was too young.</em></p><p>He saw rapid movement ahead of him, someone in billowing black robes had rushed around the corner. Remus made eye contact with them, he didn’t know who they were but that didn’t matter, he could tell by their sneer that they weren’t there to help Tonks.</p><p>Remus stood up, held out his wand, saw the flash of green and then nothing.</p><p>He stood up again, taking in his surroundings.</p><p>“Remus?”</p><p>“Moony!”</p><p>“Sirius? James?”</p><p>“Oh Remus”</p><p>“Lily?...”</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>So this is it, that's how it ends<br/>
I guess there's nothing more romantic than dying with your friends<br/>
And I'm not sorry for myself<br/>
I wouldn't wanna spend a minute loving anybody else</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"But what is grief, if not love persevering?"</p><p>I'm actually kind of sad that this is over, I've really enjoyed writing something thats pretty much completely different to what I usually write.</p><p>This fic began as something small and indulgent and has become one of my favourite pieces of writing to date, I poured my heart and emotions into it wanting to make it the best I could. I didn't expect to have so much of an attachment to what I thought was going to be a cute little raising Harry fic with a couple of chapters but here we are.</p><p>Thank you to everyone who has followed the updates since the first couple of chapters; thank you to everyone who has commented and left kudos; thank you to the discord for being super supportive and letting me share my writing without judgment; thank you for reading, I love you all &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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